| Everything was going swimmingly: I got my passport, | | | | morning!" a bubbly voice called. |
| found a cheap flight, and got my two weeks off of | | | | "I am sorry, I'm very sick," I sputtered, opening the |
| work. I was ready for the ultimate vacation. On a tip | | | | door. |
| from a friend of mine, I decided on a package tour | | | | "Sir, you are not well!" a portly, amiable looking local |
| of Meditopia, an island nation often called the jewel | | | | said. |
| of the South Pacific. The brochure sent to me by | | | | "Yes, perhaps I should sleep it off," I tried to close |
| Meditopia Adventure Travel displayed pristine white | | | | the door, but the guide would not let me. |
| sand beaches, lush jungle waterfalls, charming locals, | | | | "We must take you to our brand new hospital, sir," |
| and, strangely, a photograph of their brand new | | | | "No, no, I don't have any insurance," I said, "at least |
| hospital. 'Our health care is free to all,' the caption | | | | none that would be accepted here." |
| under the photo read. An avid scuba diver and lover | | | | "Sir, you must understand that here, in Meditopia, we |
| of nature, this obscure nation seemed to provide it | | | | pride ourselves in our free health care. Even Yankee |
| all. | | | | travelers such as yourself can get access to our |
| I connected to Meditopia Air flight number 13 from | | | | state of the art facilities." |
| Bangkok, and after sixteen hours of travel, I arrived | | | | I did not believe him, but before long I found myself |
| into Healthiopolis Airport. Customs was a pretty | | | | in an ambulance, on the way to the hospital. |
| standard procedure, although it was strange when | | | | Wrapped in blankets, upon entry to the hospital, I |
| the official seemed disappointed that I did not have | | | | tried to fish out my HMO card, but the exceedingly |
| any pre-existing medical conditions. | | | | friendly nurse waved it away. I waited no more than |
| As it turned out, I arrived in the middle of monsoon | | | | ten minutes before a two Doctors waved me into an |
| season. Despite securing a very quick and efficient | | | | examination room. In my feverish delirium, I continued |
| taxi to the hotel, I was soaking wet and shivering by | | | | to wave around my insurance card, knowing full well |
| the time I reached the front desk. I wasn't going to | | | | that my plan had no coverage for foreign hospitals. |
| let some rains dampen my spirit: I celebrated the first | | | | The doctors diagnosed my acute food poisoning, and |
| night of my vacation with a couple pork dumplings | | | | set me up with a lavish hospital room, as well as a |
| known to be a local delicacy. Before long I was | | | | free prescription for the necessary antibiotics. Good |
| dreaming of the swimming, hiking, and diving I would | | | | lord, I tried to give the staff money every time they |
| be doing. | | | | visited, but they refused. |
| The next morning, I awoke to an intense, pounding | | | | I spent my entire vacation recovering in the hospital |
| headache, a severe sore throat, sweats, and a case | | | | ward; it was amazing. There wasn't even any |
| of diarrhea the likes of which I never had before. It | | | | paperwork for me to fill out. This land of Meditopia |
| was terrible, and I wasn't sure if it was the rain that | | | | was the perfect place to get sick. Feeling refreshed, |
| soaked me or the dumplings I had eaten the night | | | | rested, and thankfully, in peak physical condition, I |
| before. There was a knock on my door. | | | | boarded the plane hoping to get sick here, again |
| "Meditopia Adventure Travel! I am your guide! Good | | | | sometime. |